My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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