In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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