He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
