D3 body, D1 cock
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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