and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize