Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
