Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
