I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
