I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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