It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
