I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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