wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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