i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My vagina is officially offended.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
