its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
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