Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
