Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
