Porn is love you can see.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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