Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
