Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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