So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize