before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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