I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
