well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
