You really coming over, don't trick.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
