Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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