one might say we're banned from that church
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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