yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
