apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
