my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
