My brain says no but my pants say off.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
