Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
