You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
