My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
