I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
