Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I smell like Dick and happiness
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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