I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She even gives head with a lisp.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
