yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
