Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
