i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize