ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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