The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
