you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
