After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
