dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
