Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
