The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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