Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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