we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
