I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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