I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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