He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize