..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
