WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
