dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize