I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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