The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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