Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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