im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I can't put those talents on a resume
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
