All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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