so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
